You think.
Let me start a blog. I figured that it will take
a while to decide exactly what direction to focus on. Without a doubt there
would have been kids that filtered through if I decided to just do a “me” blog.
But I wanted a space just share our adventures. Our life remembered. I have
never been great with actual pen and paper memories, but I can update random
thoughts online…
So who would have figured that even my life, as unplanned as
it was, would just take that curve ball called, I guess life.
So while I want to just share, I do sometimes pause and
wonder how much I want to share and how much whoever reads this wants to hear.
I am sure I can do a real nail biter of a blog, all nitty gritty, stress about
finances, work, kids, family fights, drama that I did not invite, weight, dreams. I could throw my hand to my brow
and give you that.
But this is how my mind works. I take a step back. I think
and see the good (there always is with the three). Do I have panicked moments?
You bet. These are normally saved for some poor bugger who asks if I want sugar
or if I have triplets or explains where to park. And then gets my life story
when a simple yes and no answer would have sufficed.
So for now, my blog will continue as is. I will however add
the following exciting feature pieces, because I thought I might as well go big
or go home (in this case: do some of it publically so I have less of a chance
of chickening out).
·
Finally reach all those last goals I set for
myself to get fit again. I need to be the best me and the best mom for my 3
(now more than ever). There is no halfway any more about this.
·
Job and career. I need this more than ever for
myself. I would love to just have a great life for us. No more stop starts.
·
No prizes for guessing the last one: Love. And
dating. And all the fluffy stuff that comes with it.
I want control back. I’ve had it for so long, yet life has
now dealt me cards that make people believe they should take over. I’m 30 and
have never done one thing to break trust in me. So feeling this way now, I hate
it. Fights over who gets control over the estate. Who decides what... I don’t
even know where these things come from. And I want it out of my life. Out of
our life... I want no part of it. I just want to continue.
So back to the plan: Nothing much will change. I just wanted
to heads up that there will be more day to day adventures, but expect a dash of
more real. With all of the love and fun, as always.
Even if it just for my own peace of mind. Putting things out
there makes it all feel OK.
Hope this makes as much sense to you as it does to me.
