Choices I love and hate and regret

So it's official. Seems a big decision is needed from me on Tuesday next week. Tuesday the second day of May. And I can honestly say that I have my hands in my hair.

And this is not the best look for me as my hair is the kind of hair that stays the way you push it. Mostly.

Selling out, Money and Moving on Up

I've touched on this cliche before, for the simple reason that it has been so true in my life: When it rain it pours. And this is nice downpour. With pancakes..if you know what I mean.

Great day, Moving on and Movies.

I think I am over discussing the same thing over and over and,well, over. My tale is not a sad one, just a life with a few turns and twists. So while I've been over my marriage for (at least) the last two to three years, the paper work is yet to be done. There is so many reasons for this, the biggest being that I wanted to be nice and first be employed again. And then the fact that he was out of the country for just short of 18 months.

My timeline in a nutshell - this won't ever be repeated again:

Fantasy and Solo

I have this fantasy life where I have two or three bff's (OK I hate that term), but best friends that is just always there. Available at the drop of a hat. Realistically I should add that I know this is not always possible. And sometimes when I say that I am not in the mood to go out, I don't need a friend showing up and insisting that they know better.. But nights like tonight after weeks like this week, I sometimes want some last minute friends.

It being IT

I hate stating the obvious, but some days just live up to their reputations.  Today was Thursday. Best said in Afrikaans: Donderdag. "Thunder Day". I would love to have something specifically to actually complain about, but it just was. But here is just some of my excuses.. in no particular order.

Posting for the sake of posting

Some nights thoughts are not that easy to pen on paper. Or type on my Acer, but I prefer the romance of ink and paper.
These are the nights you stare at a page, and have too much to say, but my thoughts are all short little patterns. So that got me thinking about posting for the sake of posting. And deciding against it.

So I'll wait for them to settle. Then post.

At least I can tell everyone I "blogged" ;) And posted a random old photo.

Romance and Pretty Things

I've never made a secret of the fact that I wanted (well and want, and will have) a Happily Ever After. I love all things romance and love. Even a failed marriage isn't enough to jade me even a shade.

What is in a name?

I have been blessed and cursed with a name that is equal parts hard to say and spell. It is of course, the ultimate ice breaker, and makes it easy to flirt with me (thinking of the one time this has happened the past 5 years to flatter myself). My normal response is correcting the person twice, and if I won't see you again, I will just go with whatever you call me. I've responded to Minenta, Monanto, Meenanta, even once a Melissa. As the penguins in Madagascar: Just nod and smile, just nod and smile.

Good Luck and Happy Things

All those things you hear about "when it rains it pours", or all things that is considered good or bad luck, it makes me think of every milestone in my life. Good (or bad) things happens in threes. Got that with my three. Career wise, three times lucky, three times unlucky. And this year? Two happy things. And this is where it the whole "when it rains..." comes in. Three months of interviews, stress and hoping ends with everything happening at once.

In this case it will be a happy ending, I know this as all options lead to a happy ending. Just different routes. I rolled the dice, now to decide what way will work better. Do I go the known route? Or the route I have knowledge of, but haven't walked on. Take a chance, or settle for safe. Buy out for more money, or trust that a chance will get me further. Nail biting stuff. I'm putting it to the back of my mind until Friday. When I will probably be asked at gun point to choose... Not really, but it sounded more dramatic! Actually both parties is backing me. whether I choose left or right.

Strangely I feel like watching The Matrix again. Blue pill.. or red pill.

Funny thoughts and Rain and Princesses

I felt like a a rep today. From 8am until about 14:30 was spent driving around. I love driving, but hate driving back and forth aimlessly, going this way then that, then back this way. And while it started out cold, driving around the sun got hotter. As always on the day that I can least afford it, I am a regretful dresser. Most days I love what I wear, and I'm comfortable in it. But there is always those days when you put on something, already thinking in the back of your mind that you will regret this. This morning it was a black top with a lacy back. And a black bra. I put on a winter cardigan over it, knowing I couldn't take it off without raising a few eyebrows. It became hotter and hotter. Yes. I stopped at home and changed.

In all my travels I had some time for some funny thoughts. I got married at a place called Deja Vu. So when that song came on the radio (not sure who sings it, but it has deja vu in the chorus or the start), I had this funny thought of getting married there again. It will be ironic. This was then.

Relationship, Dark Hair and Sunsets.

Normally when I’m on a roll, be it with work, talking or in this case, catching up with some blog posts to tide over the quiet times, it is a case of once you opened the floodgates, you just go with it. Sitting down and waiting for words to come doesn’t always work. So now that I built my own soapbox (blog), and I have 30 minutes, blog I will.

So if you can picture in your mind, me lying on a couch, and you with a pencil tapping your chin waiting to write down and over analyse everything I am about to “say”, you can guess where this post is heading. And it isn’t south.

My Mind and Complicated Relationships

Breaking News, or “Hear Ye, Hear Ye”: I am my own worst enemy. Or my mind is. And everyday at a certain point it is Menanteau 1. Mind 2…

What my problem is: I have landed a job that can be near perfect. I’m basically starting something along with someone (who has the resources), and I am able to build it up. This I can do. This I know. This sounds familiar.

Life happened and happens..

I am cautiously and optimistically happy about finding a new job. I've had my fair share of dead ends, too good to be's and broken promises. So I'm still not pinching myself of sharing for all the world until I'm convinced. Now if only my mom would listen..