For us, life kind of went on as normal. From my side I saw it as distracting them, but I'm sure from their side it as business as usual.
To switch your mind off, That is hard. I worry about the three. That tomorrow is needed for a goodbye, but that they are too young and all that sad and reality is too much.
What I don't look forward to, for myself (minus all the usual funeral stuff) is that there appears to have been lies. So everyone from his side of the family is under the impression it seems that I lost a husband. The love of my life. For me it is that I lost someone dear that was a huge (about as big as anyone can get in your life) part of my life thus far. First real boyfriend. Marriage. Father of my three. But the "us" was removed from my life story years ago. I won't go bitter today. So while I am so sad, and even more sad that he won't see them grow up. That they won't know their real dad. That he was so young. That life is not fair...
I don't like that people act like I will now suddenly be lost. That people who don't know me echo words that show that they do not know me. That they do not know us (me and the three). And Willem.
But how blessed are we.. the people that share our time are just the best. A call, a sms. A hug. A coffee and a offer. All of the mentioned gestures show they care. And that they know us.
Ramble done. So back to the distraction. We went back to the Centurion Model Engineers. They wanted to show our visitor from afar (Cape Town) what fun steam can be.
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