Friday 30 March 2012

Coffee shops and Car Sex

I'll admit, maybe the title is a little deceptive. Not that I have any thing against coffee shops, or car sex for that matter. But I can't really have a opinion about the latter being a single mom whose divorce is not yet finalised and has been alone for more than 3 years. That is a mouthful! Glad it is out there.

Wednesday 28 March 2012

Boundries and Good News and High Horses

I think I might have gotten the perfect job today. Still need confirmation, and I don't want to jinx it. But I'd have my own hours and use my 9 years of experience to actually do something. Here's hoping!

I'm still trying to figure out exactly how candid I will be on the blog. One side of me wants to go all out and tell it all. I'm talking the nitty gritty and details - all within reason off course. The catch here is the same as on twitter (and sometimes Facebook), and that is family and friends. I haven't openly told everyone that I have a blog, but enough people know to make it uncomfortable around the dinner table.

Monday 26 March 2012

Kissing, Hugging and Handshakes

I went to a birthday picnic at Rietvlei Nature Reserve. All the people there were friends or friends of friends that I've known for years, but somehow I always get the kiss or hug part wrong. Maybe always is too strong, but at least 60% of the time.

What happens is when you greet, some people come in for the hug but then expect a kiss. Some people come in for the full on the mouth, others for the cheek. Don't even get me started on the double cheek kissers. What I do is go in without really thinking (or planning) and that makes for some awkward "I go left, you go left, right, nose bump" scenarios. I guess it's the thought that counts. Everyone ends up greeted. Awkwardly or not :)

I guess the way I take pictures of the dam explains my kissing misses..

Saturday 24 March 2012

When do you tell him you about your blog?

Since this something that is bound to come up in a relationship, when is the right time to confess to your significant other that you blog? I'm guessing it will be at about the same time you tell him that you do in fact pee and do the other stuff as well. Especially if it is a personal blog.

I can just imagine the scenarios: You are on your second date, discussing work and life in general when you let it fall (casually) that you blog. He goes home, and does what most people do, and google it. He reads the last 6 months worth of entries and suddenly has a world of insight into you that would have taken him 3-12 months to get. If at all! It might end up as a HEA (Happily Ever After), or he might already be on the hill with is running shoes on.

For me it feels like it should be a extra, after that first 6 or so months of dating. You need to get past that "I'm trying to impress you by putting my best foot forward" stage. For most personal blogs it would be like giving someone your diary to read. If that person knows you, and truly listened to you, not much should come as a surprise, but it should give that extra thought and insight. That behind the scenes glimpse. The deleted scene. Or the gag reel.

None of this really matter right now for me since this is basically where I am with my divorce:


I'll end this with the best three reasons you will ever have to get to know me. Or date me (just putting it out there for all the athletic, tattooed, dark haired gentlemen out there). The Louis Vuitton of baggage. My 3 girls. Beats my best personality trait or physical feature hands down, every time.



Maybe it is just me?

I don't know if it is just me, but I am fairly sure it is most people, but sometimes I want to follow up a statement with a explanation. I can make a sure statement, that I 100% believe in, but if there is any grey areas around it, you want to cover them all! So my statements made in haste have a "but".

In my last few posts I've tried to stick to the basic rule. You decide on a topic or just write whatever happened that day, and stick to it. Most days will have a few extra stories, but that just makes up a long tail. And since a blog or status updates is just a glimpse into a life, I ignore the urge to explain.

I just pressed publish on my previous post. And who knows. Maybe it is because I had a glass (OK 3 from midday) of wine, maybe it is because it is a subject that might provoke different opinions. I don't know. Maybe it is simply because I did not blog for a few days and I want to make up for it. But I felt I deserved a ramble. So this is me. Rambling. Covering all the grey areas. Saying that it was just how I felt. I type, spell checked, and pressed publish all within 5 minutes. That leaves some grey.

Believe it or not. But I just thought of something else I want to "put down on paper". And since it is my blog, my rules.

I will.

Time and space and randomness

I can't believe it's been days since I blogged. Sound like a confessional to me. It hasn't been for my lack of trying that is for sure. Seems sometimes even people with "all the time in the world" can't manage to fit it all in to 12 odd hours.

Wednesday 21 March 2012

Our day

Today was a public holiday. Tomorrow is just Thursday that I will bet my bottom dollar on will feel like Monday. Today, a little picture tour on our great day together.

Started off at the Moreletakloof Nature Reserve for a picnic and concert of the twins. Then home for a change in shoes for me. Next stop our local tea garden / kids play area, and lastly some fun at home while braaing. Today is less words, more pictures.

Isn't the best times spent breaking some of the rules and not caring that anyone is watching. Case and point the cake we killed at the tea garden. We (or one of us) even licked the plate. And one of us sat on the table reading the magazine to me.

 Now playing: Ellie Goulding - Your song.










Tuesday 20 March 2012

Trail running and being a adult

My whole school life and some years beyond that, I was always a really fit runner. I ran, played netball, hockey, road races and went to gym at least 3 time a week. That all changed in the last 5 years. Coincidentally my eldest is also 5 years old.

I've kept on running and even did a bootcamp last year. But life and being a single mom makes exercise a bit low on the list of priorities. This is one of the things I've been trying to break free of. I still only run, walk or exercise whenever I get a gap, but I am tired of the excuses. And the weight for that matter.

I've always been fond of trail running. So this morning I did a 7.3km run with my younger brother. This being my younger, gravity defying, fit brother.


I also did something decidedly adult tonight. I went to the nomination and voting night for the school board. Turned out it wasn't as bad as I thought. Sat next to some nice people and made fun of the speeches of the 15 candidates. There was some really nice, inspiring speeches that won my vote, and then there was the IT guy that got up and read his CV off his ipad. In detail.

The deciding factor why I went? The school organised a puppet show with milo and cookies for all the kids while we voted. They wanted to go, so I went.



Making noise and dinner was fun. My kids asked me why I always sing and dance in the kitchen. My answer? Because they make me happy. I won't take it to heart that they say I can not sing. It was a hard song to sing! That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Sunday 18 March 2012

Tips,movies,leather jackets and long titles

Two discussions that always pop up around a dinner table, favourite movies and tips on motherhood. Both things I would consider myself able to hold a conversation over (especially the latter).

The best (and almost always the only) tips I tend to give people, is that whatever you feel is right tends to be. If you keep worrying about doing everything by the book, you start stressing about stuff that just is not important in the big picture. Read up, ask someone for help, but do what feels right for you in the end. What works for one child will most certainly not work for another by default.

Don't sweat the small stuff. I've seen parents start a small war before school about something as small as mismatched socks on a 4 year old. Now the kid who was happy with their colourful socks, is crying and unhappy, dropping him/her off at school takes 10 minutes instead of 5 and everyone starts their day stressed. Save the wars for the big stuff.

Patience and more patience and the extra 5 minutes. Works for everything. Instead of saying you are busy for 2 hours, get up and go look at the art work. Saves you hours of "come look", "can you come look now?", "how about now?".

I've been waiting for nearly 10 years to say this: I finally own a leather jacket. A pretty brown one. I've always loved leather jackets but haven't had one since I was about 19/20. And ever since then there was just never a great time. It was buying a house, buying some land, a car, marriage, kids and life. Sometimes I had the money and was actively looking for one only to find none I like, sometimes I would see one I love but have it cost a fortune and sometimes I had the money and found one I love only for it to be in all the wrong sizes. So last week I saw one. A reasonably priced one that I loved in the perfect colour at a store where I have some credit that I never use. Now I need a occasion. And some cold weather!

Last night at a braai with some friends, the always popular "what's your favourite movie of all time" question was asked. I've always wanted to one of those people who have a ready made answer. I love movies, but this question always ends in a half hour long explanation for me. Explaining choices, categories etc. I can't point out just one favourite. I have favourites that are classics (and that is one most peoples lists), comedies, feel good movies that you can watch over and over again and never get tired of it; and then the off the cuff movies that you love but know that if you mention it it will lead to a huge discussion. This will have to be a post on it's own as it deserves a proper list.

Funnily enough, I'm looking forward to tomorrow. Also known as Monday. Hope this feelings lasts.

Wednesday 14 March 2012

Tooth mouse vs Fairy and Cherry Coke

Having kids means you use the following phrases a lot: "I can't believe you are 1/2/5 years old already", "Can't believe my eldest is in big school" and many more phrases that start with "I can't believe" and about time flying. Today our little family took another leap into the "I can't believe" category. Tonight we are expecting our first visit from the tooth fairy or mouse. We still don't know who works in our neighbourhood or what his or her rates are.

Shopping means chaos and fun. All the shops in our neighbourhood seems to cater for families with three small kids by having three small carts available. So it's my basket/cart and three small ones, every time. My ankles gets hit on average 3 times in a 20 minute shopping trip. The princess of the twins chose to be carted around today.

I loved Cherry Coke for the 5 seconds it was in South Africa. Now you only find it once a blue moon. So I was so happy to find it today. I also bought myself a lotto ticket. So if I don't post for a while, assume I'm spending my millions :)

Tuesday 13 March 2012

Should have seen it coming..

I should have seen two things coming a mile away:

(1) that once I started blogging, or what I call it at the moment "just putting thoughts online until it starts coming together", I would probably over do it some days. Depends on when I hit send I just might have blogged three times today. I'll just keep it as credit for days I don't.
(2) that I was due a bad day (or 20 minutes in this case). Damn people for asking, and damn people for not.

As luck would have it, I bounce back fast. Two bad jokes, a cup of coffee,a curse on twitter and a face wash later, and I wish I could rewind time and not react to that comment. But I guess that's what makes me human. And not perfect by any stretch of the imagination. But only I am allowed to say that, just so you know. :P

So on a positive note, some random snaps shots of my day that cheered me right up as I downloaded the photos I took today.

For moments like these I would gladly be late for work every day (says the jobless person). This morning my twins decided to dance on the wet grass in front of the school to make wet footprints as they walk in. It became such a game and had all three of us laughing. Saying goodbye was easy - no tears, but the dancing took 5 extra minutes. I'm sure there is a life lesson in there somewhere for all of us. Although I'm sure grownups would get funny looks when you dance on grass in front of the office. Ask me, I'm a car singer and a general hummer (I'm always humming or singing).

And some after school fun jumping and drawing. First one was taken without the artist being ready to showcase.



Time to do what I do best. Read until I fall asleep or the sun comes up. Whatever comes first.

Part 2: Action plan and stuff

I'm not to keen on cliff-hangers, so without further ado, Part 2 of the just published Part 1.

So to kick start my plan to make this the start of the rest of my life, I figured why be original. I'm doing a list of  "Things to do before I am 30". Some I want to do before my birthday, some before the end of 2012, and most as soon as possible. I might add some later, as with most of my best ideas and witty comebacks, it doesn't always come on demand.

  1. Find a great job, or a good job at a great company and work myself up.
  2. Find a new house.
  3. Take my 3 to the beach for a holiday.
  4. Take a roadtrip for a fun weekend away.
  5. Go to Cape Town for the weekend away. This one I want to do alone or with a friend or two.
  6. I have roughly 4 months before it is my birthday (Who am I kidding, I counted: 110 days). Before then (and number 5) I want to lose that pesky 10kg's again. I managed that last year but some came back. I want to lose that AND some more and feel good again.
  7. I entered a triple challenge. I do 5km and 10km road races even in my unfit state. But I want to do more. First race was a 10km in February. So next up: a 15km the day before my birthday. I've never ran more than 12 odd kilometres at a time. Walk yes, ride yes.
  8. Do my first half marathon on the 10th of November. Already entered. Already nervous!
  9. Finalize my divorce. I just want happiness for us both and above all the three. I'll admit that I'll be glad when this is behind me. I'm hoping civilsised from his side.
  10. Go on at least two blind dates. Or just dates. Doesn't have to lead anywhere, just want to get back on that horse.
  11. Kiss someone in the rain. Or sunshine. Even at night. I'm not above admitting I miss making out with someone special. I'll settle for a sprinkler as well. (#10 and #11 will obviously happen after #9. Don't give me that look dad).
  12. Paint a wall red. It's just one of those things.
  13. Finish a art project. I'm forever doing art with my kids (for my kids). I want to do something like a painting (abstract, I'm no Picasso). And I want to repaint some of my wood furniture.
  14. Sing karaoke.
  15. Have a spa day with my best friends.
  16. Do something for a charity.
  17. Go to one of the music festivals that always look like such fun (not Oppikoppi).
  18. Put up a bookshelve on my own. I'll probably have to put up 20 for all my books.
  19. Make good on a few promises I made my kids. First that comes to mind is painting their rooms again. One yellow/red and orange room, one pink and purple. Their first rooms were all painted, but the last house I only bought new duvets etc. Rooms remained beige. They deserve bright rooms. Fit for a princess.
  20. Actually garden and keep some plants alive.
Twenty for now seems like a good end. I can never read those lists that has three digits in.

I guess I should get back to that number 1.

Note to self: Remember to buy a lotto ticket tomorrow.

Part 1: Twenty something for now.


I'm not a number person, not in age or simple maths. So I don't really care much about turning 30 this year. But allow me to point out somethings anyway, to explain why I feel like I need to do something significant this year. And because the sum of my life includes three little people, the pressure is on. I want to have a Steve Jobs moment on my deathbed. I also want to say "wow" looking back at all parts of my life.

I've mentioned before about the timeline of my life being a bit messed up right now. And that is putting it mildly. Without using the nicer terms like I usually do, I can guess I can be classified as homeless, jobless and single with baggage (don't you just hate that term). But I prefer my mixed up timeline or pages missing analogy. So I dated a frog, then married said frog and basically the moment we said I do, he fell off a roof (really) and things went south from there. We had three princesses in a blink of an eye, but things between us was over and I was basically alone from day 1. Even with all that life was good. 2012 was the hiccup. My contract ended (leaving me jobless and hunting for now), my rent went up and townhouse sold (which left me homeless and living with the parentals) and I am currently finalising my divorce (finally after 3 single years, I want to be officially single).

So this is part 1 of my "Turning 30" blogpost. Putting it in writing and out in the world feels more official. It's like having a gym or a running buddy.

So all my happiness and laughing in the face of life aside, it does really suck that all this just had to happen in the year that I turn 30. Mayan predictions aside, I'm ready for the best part of my life to start. And I'll be dammed if I do not do my best to ensure that I do.

Why do I feel like I'll need a cape for this? ;)

Sunday 11 March 2012

Writing on walls and Sunday blues

Sunday means braai for our family. Any season, any weather. Today the wind picked up unexpectedly, but thankfully we had our new early warning weather system ready to go.

My kids are really, really tech savvy. My oldest (above on my brother's shoulders), is always playing on my laptop (after graduating from my Blackberry). And now my twins are conquering my Blackberry. I thank BB everyday for the child lock. But today they managed to send some random people messages, and wrote on an acquaintance's wall on Facebook. Keeps my timeline interesting, and since I couldn't beat their update today, I left it.


When I wrote my Twitter bio stating that I am three times happier than most, I meant it. Except for the fact that I have the privilege of spending my days with my cool kids, I just don't believe in letting life get me down. But I guess if I'm going to reflect, Sunday kind of suits the cause.

I'm not going in deep tonight. But I miss the relationship stuff. Guess I can blame the romantic movies I watched all weekend. But I miss things like watching the Sunday movie cuddling on the couch. Having adult conversations with someone not on Twitter or Facebook. Going out to dinner (and not a Spur on kids eat free day). Just having someone there for me that is actually a partner in every way.Someone that knows me for me. I can act as strong as I want, but I've always been a person who loves relationships. So I'm actually just wishing away this whole mess I am in at the moment so that I can move on. Life is really too short and way to much fun to be dragged down by the stupid fights that comes along with a divorce. And it's not me fighting, but I also can't just accept. I just want to see my kids happy. And if (no when) I can find love again that would just be the perfect life. End of story. I even want the sunset.

Bring on Monday. And hopefully that call.

Saturday 10 March 2012

Solo movie date

I really like going to the movies. Alone. Don't get me wrong, I love it with friends or date (ha ha) or kids as well. But if I get a spare moment, I just go on my own. This has lead to some free (I'm sure pity) movie tickets over time. They spot me at my local movie house and refuse to let me pay. Poor girl going to the movies alone.

My three spent the day with "their dad". (That is how I prefer to refer to him. Cuts down on awkward divorce questions in my opinion). So since I had an unexpected day to myself, I planned a lot of stuff and did a few. Step one was a quick bath with my *smutty* book. This is a rare treat because someone is always barging in on me. That ended up being a nearly 2 hour bath, and thus I missed the first movie slot. So I took some time, and waited for 14:00. Then my brother showed up and we had a impromptu, very long discussion on the whole Kony2012 saga. We drank wine, we talked. We disagreed and agreed and had some more wine and biscuits. Seems I will not be getting a cool campaign t-shirt after all.

So that brings me to my night. I faced what was clearly date night at the mall to go to the movies by my dressed up lonesome self. I guess "dressed up and made up" doesn't elicit the same pity as "dressed down" solo day movies, so I did pay the full R45. My movie of choice? This means war. I enjoyed it. It is my kind of movie: Romantic, comedy, predictable with a happy ending. Insert two hot guys, one with a British accent and tattoos, and you had me at This.

On the topic (or maybe off, it's Saturday who is holding score) of debate and movies, in the movie the character Reese plays has to choose between aforementioned British tattooed guy who plays a nice guy with a kid, and pretty blue eyed boy played by Chris Pine. Without spoiling it, both win in the end. But I would have picked the other team. My evidence. Pretty boy vs Not conventionally attractive but that has that charm. I'd pick Tuck aka Tom. Shoot me, but I like a guy (especially in this hypothetical choice) to have a little something else. Something a little left of perfect. And what girl doesn't like to sometimes pick someone who is not perfect to take to mom ;) Wearing plaid so well, leather, v-neck t-shirts and having an British accent doesn't hurt his case. But that's a story for another post.







Thursday 8 March 2012

Thursday

I know. I hate obvious people too. And my heading would be stating the obvious. But my feelings for Thursday have always been summed up perfectly by The Cure:

I don't care if Monday's blue
Tuesday's gray and Wednesday too
Thursday I don't care about you
It's Friday, I'm in love.
My mind is already planning Friday, my body sadly stuck in Thursday.
I'm a planning type of person. So today, with the lack of anything like a day job to fill my day, I planned my Friday night. I'm planning to be unsocial. That's how I prefer my Fridays. Me & the three normally just forget routine. Watch a movie. Everything everyday and routine can wait until Saturday. I'll keep Saturday morning for a post all on its own as I can get quite lyrical about Saturday mornings when I'm allowed more than 140 characters.
So tomorrow night I'm planning to have a particularly girly Friday night. Movies booked: Barbie in the Mermaid Tail. One Day starring Anne Hathaway and Jim Sturgess (yum), and What's your number starring Anna Faris and Chris Evans (pretty boy). Some romance, some comedy, some sad and some fun. Sounds like all we need is rain and a duvet!
Last little story of this morning: As I dropped the twins off at school, we were designing our ideal cars. They are all saving up for respectively two Mini Coopers (one yellow, one red) and one VW Beetle (Varies between pink, purple and red). So this morning one starts designing a all out Barbie Beetle. So I start suggesting more Barbie clothes and other accessories, growing her blonde hair longer.. She quips with a laugh: "No! I don't want to LOOK like Barbie, she isn't real. I just want to look like me with Barbie stickers on my car!". I was cheering for that comment.


Is it Friday yet?

Wednesday 7 March 2012

Let's skip the introductions..


So basics first. Name has been said and done. Age, 30 (in 2012).

I'm a fan of useless information. So here is some useless facts about me (in no particular order):

1. I've always wanted to be a young mom. I wanted it along with the happy ending, but I wouldn't change a thing.
2. I can easily read through the night. I tell myself I'll only read until 22:00/23:00. Then end up saying one more chapter until dawn.
3. I see the sunrise often.
4. I love coffee.
5. Once I start drinking water I can't stop.
6. I watch reality TV.
7. I buy too many magazines and only read half the articles.
8. I have one of the biggest Mills&Boon collections I've ever seen.
9. I really want to be a runner again. If I can just find the time and my shoes.
10. I love discovering new music.
11. I'm a car dancer and singer. Once I sit in my car I sound just like the original artist.
12. I'm a fan of social networks. And while I grumble with the masses about Facebook, I don't mind it.
13. When I get a spare moment I go the movies alone.
14. Favourite colours: Grey, yellow and blue. And red. Orange.
15.Favourite take-away: Nando's strips and rice (Lemon and Herb) with a Coke Zero.
16. I can watch hours of Masterchef / Come Dine with Me / Home Decor shows.
17. Favourite thing ever on a (dark haired) guy is white button down, rolled up sleeves, faded jeans.
18. Vanilla Ice cream.
19. I don't like spiders.
20. I'm happy.



Tuesday 6 March 2012

First time for anything.

I've been told the following things so many times, I've lost count: "You are always updating on Facebook, and I love your posts and photos", or "You tweet too much", "I love your comments", "You should blog". 

Saturday I was at a braai and was told, well actually instructed, to start blogging. I'm a great listener. So I did. And I am.

Who am I and what will I blog about? Thank you for asking.

I am Menanteau. Yes that is my real name. Pronounced: Mi - nan - tou. I am 29. I am first and foremost a mother to three of the coolest little people alive. My three girls are aged 5, 4 and 4 (yes, twins). I'll do proper introductions later. Together we have the best adventures including some ups and downs, and even some left and rights. I'm also a friend to just enough, employee to few (aka currently seeking), sister and a daughter. I'll mention I'm single a few times as I'm a die hard romantic who believe in happy endings and princes. I kissed a frog who became a prince with the help of smoke and mirrors, and then turned back into a frog when the lights went out.

The timeline of my life has been dealt a few blows. I've always wanted a happy life with all the pages in place. Instead I picked the adventurous route with a few pages out of place or missing. Makes for a better story in the end. I would even play myself in the movie version!

I plan to blog about me, my three girls, the adventures that we get up to, things I love, TV, places I frequent and just life in general.

So I guess once I press post I can tell everyone I'm a blogger.